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  • Writer's pictureBonnie Aubigney

A Changed Man Is A Stranger To Himself: Excerpt 2

Once the bullets stop flying and the army leaves the First Empire, it takes hours for the screaming to stop. Widowers, childless mothers, children orphaned—their grief spills into the air and sinks into the bones of the city, far beneath the soil and the streets now stained red. Blood runs down them from the palace to the outskirts of the city, as if the empire itself is crying, too.


Anani wakes with a throbbing pain in her side between her belt and her vest, blood staining her armour, pulling herself from beneath two other bodies she recognises as farmers. It takes a moment to realise where she is—an alleyway on the outskirts of the city, near the marketplace. They were selling their crops when it happened; their baskets are overturned and their produce spills over the ground, crushed from the bodies that have run over it.

Anani finds her rifle under their bodies and shoulders her ammo pack, picking up her pistol that landed several feet away, and struggles back up to the palace. The damage is much the same as she winds her way through the market—the cries of children are especially piercing, but the faster she moves the more deaf to them she becomes. A man reaches out to her, clutching at her boot with red hands, but she can’t stop. She’s not a practitioner; her help has to come from the top.


At the entrance to the palace she meets Jenny, who’s surveying the carnage with her calculating gaze. Anani feels assured she has a plan even now, and is assuaged when Jenny tells her. “Doctors are coming from the West, as are reinforcements. King Acton couldn’t spare many. Most of ours are dead. Hannah, Exon, Junie, Repal. All gone."


“And the prince?”


Jenny meets Anani’s gaze, allowing some emotion to slip into her expression as her eyebrows bunch together and her lips purse. “Taken.”


Anani feels a pain in her chest as if she’s been punched and takes a step back. It’s only then she notices that Jenny’s hands are red, too, hanging by her sides and curled around her twin revolvers.


“I took out as many as I could,” she said, sounding apologetic. It’s not like her to show emotion, but they’ve never had a day such as this in the time the current queen has been serving. “It wasn’t enough. They still got him.”


“If the queen doesn’t know, we need to tell her about Vinson.”


Jenny nods. A quiet descends then, an eeriness Anani finds hard to put into words; Vinson would know how, he could write it into a song. She turns to the stairs and Jenny follows her inside, leaving the doors open behind them so they won’t forget what waits outside them.

Eunju is in the front hall, thankfully not alone. Malia and Kim are there, pacing and glancing around, while Chan and Iliya stand guard with their rifles drawn.


“He’s gone,” Anani says, immediately, and Eunju comes over to her, taking her hands. She feels it then, now that Eunju has acknowledged it, more than when Jenny spoke it aloud.


“We’ll get him back,” Eunju says. “And the people?” She directs this to Jenny who steps up to her, still clutching her revolvers as if they will protect her.


“Reinforcements are on their way. I will attend to them myself when they get here.” She looks down as if ashamed, and tears roll down her cheeks, dripping onto the floor once they reach her chin.


Eunju drops one of Anani’s hands and takes Jenny’s, squeezing until Jenny looks up again. “We’ll get him back. How many dead?”


Jenny glances away but keeps her voice steady when she answers. “It’s unclear, we will know once the reinforcements get here. Right now, it’s—” She stops herself before she can continue, but Anani knows. It’s chaos. It’s devastation.


“The people need you, now,” Eunju says, glancing around at them as if they’re the ones to save her empire, and not the queen.


“Eunju,” Anani says, before Eunju shushes her and drops her hand to address the room at large.


“We need to prepare a statement and send it out through the ambiscreens, soon.” She seems surer of herself with a purpose, the Eunju Anani has always known, the Eunju who helped the queen hold back all their enemies' forces with strength of will alone.


Kim nods and stands. He was always such a happy child, and even though he’s only a few years younger than Anani, that’s how she always thinks of him. But Kim isn’t laughing now. “I’ll get started on that.”


“The queen is in her room, resting,” Malia says.


Eunju says, “Tend to her,” and Malia goes. “You two,” she says, motioning to Iliya and Chan, who hurry over to her, “wait with Jenny for the others to arrive. Help who you can.” The four of them leave without a word, and then it’s just Anani and Eunju.


Eunju has always been a pillar of strength for them, unwavering and just. She’s stood by the queen’s side for two decades and acts as her confidant, friend, and leader when the queen needs her to be.


“Eunju, what should I do?” Anani feels cut free and adrift, with only Eunju to cling to.


Her expression hardens as soon as the others leave, as though she was putting on a brave face for them. It makes Anani feel important that she isn’t pretending in front of her. “Stay. We need to be here for the queen when she’s ready.”


Anani nods but still feels uneasy after witnessing so much in such a short time. She turns away, gazing instead out to the chaos, feeling very alone without Vinson there to keep her company.

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